Women and Relationships-

Posted on December 12, 2011


WE FEAR WHAT WE DON’T UNDERSTAND!! The saying is true. In addition, I am starting to think women today are scared of relationships. That’s right I said it. I BELIEVE MANY WOMEN ARE SCARED OF RELATIONSHIPS. There are multitudes of reasons why they may be fearful of relationships. While many may be scared because of reasons stemming from past relationships many just don’t understand the dynamics of a relationship. I have come to this conclusion taking information from words told to me, things that have been said to my boys and even words female friends have spoken to me. Women have spoken some of the following confusing phrases to us: “I am focused on my career right now,” “you seem to be right in so many ways. If you’re single it MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU,” “men don’t know what they want,” and even the dreaded “IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME.” What about just saying hey, I have a lot going on AND I AM SCARED TO TRY THIS as it may mess up the smooth oceans of hiding I have created?

So many of the women of today are playing major roles at work, running households and even starting businesses so they have a lot on their plate. Understandable. Many of them “just don’t have time” to get to know someone on a deeper level. Hmm interesting. So many women have shut down this part of their life and have started to “hide” behind the I’m focused on work mentality. Being ambitious is great. It is even sexy, but come on. I thought women were the ones who are better at multitasking. Is that not supposed to be true? Therefore, that means they can juggle their workload and a man. Right?

Perhaps this isn’t the truth at all. Maybe women have been programmed to think unilaterally in today’s society. If this is true, it would explain how so many don’t know how to lead a complete life. Now when I say complete I don’t mean having a man makes you complete. I mean complete life in the sense of being open to every facet of the only life we have been granted. Having time for one’s self. Not just making time for the bosses’ deadline or the kid’s school functions. I mean carving out time and space to truly live and not just exist.

Maybe many just don’t have great examples. The generation of women before us, were the generation of women as single parents. Many adopted the “you don’t need man'” mentality. Did you ever stop to think they adopted this to get them through the struggle, not because they believed it? Either way they have passed this down to the new generation of women who have taken it and ran. Look at the shows that are fed to them repeatedly. These shows have the word wives in the title yet very few are married. One has love in its title but not much is seen. The theme of these shows seems to be, drama, opportunity and self-exploitation.

Beyonce: Their fearless leader.

Since she hit the scene, Beyonce has given the female nation anthem after anthem. She is the leader of the modern career, I can do what the men do women. She has asked, “Can you pay her bills,” told women it was just “me, myself and I till the end,” and even told men “everything you own is in the box to the left.” All of these were entertaining and good songs, BUT so many women adopted these as their personal mantras. Remember when she sang, “I can have another you in a minute. Matter of fact he’ll be here in a minute?” What does that say about the character of the character in that song? One out the door and the other on his way. This means she was holding one in the emergency just break glass area. That’s very healthy. Why another “you”? Wasn’t he so bad she had to replace him? Now I know these are just songs, but like I said these become MANTRAS for many. Beyonce gives the world the break up anthems, as she is “happily” married and expecting. Now she does sprinkle the occasional “I love my man” singles on the radio, but her biggest hits are the ones kicking him to the door.

Now I know the words I have spoken will cause some to come looking for me ready to fight but I am just the voice for many men who share this same sentiment. I am just one man out of many. I also understand and want you to understand that these words do not apply to all or even most women. Just many. This is a conversation starter. So LETS CONVERSE